The Roles of Godparents & Make-up in Public

This week there's a special question about the role of godparents and a tip on when and if it's appropriate to apply makeup in public.

Q. Dear Maralee,

Love the e-mails! I look forward to them every Monday!

A family member of mine is trying to have a baby and the couple has insisted I'm going to be the godmother. They didn't even ask me; they just implied that I would fit the bill perfectly.

I never had godparents. I really don't know what this means or what I'm supposed to do throughout the child's life. All I know is that godparents end up paying for a lot of stuff.

A. Being asked to be a godparent is a great honor. Congratulations! The obligations and expectations of godparents vary from culture to culture and from family to family. You could play anything from an honorary role to an integral part of the child's spiritual upbringing. In general, a godparent's role is to stay connected with the child in some manner throughout his or her life.

You will be at the baby's christening and perhaps take part in the ceremony. Most importantly, you serve as a mentor and take the symbolic place of his or her parent of the same gender should either one of them pass away. (Not that the child will necessarily come to live with you, a godparent is different from a legal guardian named in a will.)

If there should be a death you would step in and create experiences the missing parent would have wanted their son or daughter to have. Things like fishing with a boy and teaching him to tie a tie, going with a young lady to pick out her prom dress, and walking a bride down the aisle in the place of her late father are some of the "heart gifts" you'd give to your godchild.

Presents are part of the equation, but they don't have to be expensive or given at every occasion. You should send a Christmas and birthday card yearly, each with a handwritten note or letter. If your budget allows, you can also send gifts.

Once the parents are expecting, your best bet is to explain to them that you consider being a godparent a big responsibility. Tell them that before saying, "yes," you want to know their expectations of you in that role. You might be pleasantly surprised that they don't want anything but for you to have the honor of the title.

If it appears they expect more than you're able to give, explain that the duties of godparent are too much for you. It's better to disappoint the parents-to-be before the baby arrives than for the first 21 years or more of the child's life.



Q. In public, after eating, when and how do you refresh your lipstick?

A. Applying makeup, (including lipstick) and brushing our hair is what we do to look our best in public. It should be done in preparation for being seen, not while being seen.
The best way to handle refreshing makeup after eating is to say, "Excuse me for a moment please," leave the table and take care of everything behind the privacy of the bathroom door.