E-mails, Hugging and Forgetting Names

Have you ever met someone and they hugged you instead of offering a simple handshake? Do you wonder if you owe a response to a one word e-mail? As you've been getting ready to introduce two persons have you ever forgotten the name of one of them?

Most of us have been there! So, if you answered, "Yes!" to any of these questions you'll appreciate this edition of Monday Morning Manners!

Read and enjoy, and please, keep sending your etiquette questions! You probably have one that applies to most of us.

We all appreciate learning savvy skills to interact with ease, confidence and grace the next time we encounter the same situation!


Q. Dear Maralee,

Is it appropriate to hug, kiss, or just shake hands when you meet someone for the first time?

A. A handshake is the expected greeting in the U.S. People like knowing what's coming next in social encounters and what reply or action is expected of them.


When someone is assuming a handshake and are surprised by a kiss or hug, it's off putting. In the moment or so it takes that person to decide how to respond (hug back or stand with arms down); he or she realizes the hugger plays by his or her own rules.

We're most drawn to others who act like we do, so for most people, offering a warm handshake is one of the best ways to ensure you are well received from the start.

FYI: The etiquette of greeting varies by nation and culture. The double-cheek kiss common in parts of Europe is making its way across the Atlantic and catching on here in large metropolitan areas. When in Rome-well you know! Just be the 10th person, not the first, on your block to put the practice in play.

Q: Maralee,

I receive lots of e-mails from folks and hesitate to respond sometimes because it generates an ongoing back and forth type of correspondence that I think no one knows how to end. Sometimes I will write, "No need to respond" just to try and end the 'thread'. Any thoughts?


A: Your "no need to respond" line is perfect! Keep using it!
I too receive one line, and even one word, responses to e-mails. Often they're from people confirming my confirmation letters. In a way, it's great to know for sure they've read my e-mail and there's nothing else I need to attend to. Like many though, I sometimes feel the need to respond to their response.

After three e-mails on the same subject it's time to vary the form of communication. When in doubt, leave a quick voice mail message. You can confirm the details and the next steps (if any) to be taken.

You're less likely to get a return call then a forth e-mail, so by calling you've broken the thread and connected with them in a personal way!

Quick Tip: What's Your Name?

Q. What do you do if you forget a person's name when you go to introduce them to someone else?

A: I've been caught in this same situation! It's embarrassing! Your best response is to set up the introduction and allow the two people being introduced to complete it for you.

Try this, smile and say, "Have the two of you met?" As you say it, take one step back and add, "Please, introduce yourselves!"

I bet they'll never guess you've had a memory lapse!
The best part, you've facilitated the introduction without making anyone feel forgotten!