Your Questions Answered!

As the saying goes, be careful what you wish for!

I asked for your etiquette questions and they've poured in! It's funny, I'll be reading one reader's question, and my e-mail box pops up two times letting me know I have two new ones waiting.

Thank you for e-mailing your fantastic letters, and also for your sweet words of encouragement. Keep your questions coming! I'll keep answering!

Thank you also for your interest in my children's Etiquette Fun Summer Camps this July and August. They've sold out!

For those of you who signed up, I look forward to meeting you in person and having your children attend class.

Here are four of your questions. To submit yours, e-mail me at maralee@etiquetteanswer.com

Q. Hi Maralee,

Thank you for sending your informative and helpful weekly newsletter! I have a special folder that I direct your e-mails to so I can easily go back and reference them.

My question is about what to say or not say when someone sneezes. Sometimes a sneeze is just unavoidable and somewhat uncontrollable. I've always felt uncomfortable saying, "Bless you!" because it seems to draw more attention to the person who might already feel embarrassed.

I've been in church settings where someone sneezes and 25 people call out, "Bless you!" While it was amusing to hear, if I had been the sneezer, all that attention would have been unwelcome.

A. If you're near someone who sneezes, silently and slowly count to three or four before saying, "Bless you!" or "God bless you!" This oh-so-brief waiting period will be the time that others nearby will say, "Bless you!" if they're ever going to. If no one else says it by then, it's a pretty safe bet you'll be the only one.

The social habit of blessing someone after a sneeze came about during the reign of Pope Gregory the Great (approx. 550 AD), whose predecessor died at the start of the plague. In hopes of squelching its spread, Pope Gregory began praying in earnest.

He also sent people out to pray street-by-street. Each time a sneeze was heard, they called out, "God bless you," hoping to replace the plague with the blessing of health in the person. Did it work? It was one of the briefest plagues in history.

Today, the custom is mostly tradition, but it's a wonderful one! It unites us in a moment of unselfishness, where we verbally acknowledge the other person (stranger or friend) and wish them blessing and health. Continue to verbally bless on every appropriate occasion. Just make sure you're one of the few nearby, not one of the many a row or so over!

Q. Dear Maralee,

I love, love, love your column! I send it to everyone I know! It's always full of tips that I can actually use! My question is short. Are you supposed to tip the dog groomer?

A. Yep! 15-20% is the norm, the same as tipping a hair stylist. If the dog groomer is also the owner, then sometimes they aren't tipped because they're not sharing a percentage of their fee with the shop. Nowadays, most owners accept and appreciate the tips. I tip mine even though she is the owner. She deserves it for her hard work in making my furry one look great!


Q. Dear Maralee,

Thanks for your weekly e-mail newsletters. I heard you speak at my firm a couple of years ago and put the tips you shared into practice. Now I open your newsletters first thing Monday mornings!

If you're passing a supervisor (director/manager) at work and they don't speak, should you say anything to them, or just act like you don't see them? Whose responsibility is it to speak first?

A. Never hesitate to be the first to acknowledge anyone else. Offer a smile, brief eye-contact, and say, "Good morning!" to everyone at work you pass, supervisor or not. This will earn you the reputation of a gracious, open, and approachable associate and co-worker. As far as a full conversation, unless you have business information to relay, your best bet is to acknowledge the other person without interrupting them.

Q. Hey Maralee,

I hope you choose my question! We were talking about this the other day and decided to ask you. When can we eat chicken with our fingers?

A. Great question! I'm happy to answer. If chicken is fried, it's always a finger food, so pick it up and enjoy. Fried chicken is family dinner, country buffet, picnic and backyard fare. It shouldn't be served in places that are formal. If chicken is baked or broiled and you're eating indoors and there's a knife and fork at your place setting, use the utensils!