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It’s a joy to be with you!
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OK, onto our savvy skills for interacting with ease!
Do you ever wake up 20 minutes earlier than usual just to make sure you and your family aren’t late for an event that morning? Then, despite your great intentions, your careful preplanning, and your laser-focused clock watching, you end up at your destination about five minutes late?
It’s frustrating, but it happens. In my family it happens more than I’d like!
One child’s shoe is right where it belongs; the other can’t be found by a search party made up of Sherlock Holmes, Columbo, and Jack Bauer!
The other child is cranky about breakfast. Then the dog acts like she needs to go outside… again. So you let her out, and now she won’t come back inside.
All the while, your good intentions are being drowned out by the tick-tock of the clock.
Here’s one reader’s question. Change a few minor details, and I bet any of us could have written her e-mail!
Dear Maralee,
Love your blog! Hope you’ll find the time to answer my question! We have three small children and a teen. No matter how early we get ready for church, my husband and I seem to walk in about ten minutes late. We’re embarrassed and frustrated. Any etiquette advice you could share for entering late would really be appreciated. Thanks in advance for your help!
Your Real World Answer!
We all get a little embarrassed when we’re late. That’s probably good. Our conscious is whispering, “Yikes, this is awkward; I don’t want it to happen again!
Why? Because being on time is our practical and visual demonstration of the importance and respect we place on attending the event.
However, life happens. When our best intentions go a little askew, we need to take it in stride, plan to try again next time, and for now put Plan B into action. What is Plan B? Entering with the least amount of distraction.
While today’s reader question dealt with church, you can use these gracious, savvy tips for most public events: a concert, movie, play, school program, meeting, etc. There are tips for both the person who is running late and those already seated who want to graciously help the latecomers enter with ease.
1. If you’re the first to enter a row or pew that doesn’t butt up against a wall, take a seat in the middle of the row so people can enter from either side. If your pew or aisle butts up against the wall, take a seat at the end of the pew, against the wall. Your goal: not causing others to step over you.
2. Your purse, baby bag, or anything else you’re carrying goes under your row, seat, or pew, not the one in front of you. (That’s only on airplanes.) Otherwise, the people in the front row have no place to put their things.
3. In the movies or anywhere there isn’t enough room under your seat, place your items in your lap, not on the floor by your feet, so that others stepping into the row don't have to maneuver both by you and over the items. It’s too difficult to maneuver and too easy to trip.
4. At any live event, never enter during a song (especially a solo) or a prayer. Wait and enter quickly between songs.
5. If you’re sitting on the aisle and see people looking for a seat, it’s kind for you and your family to scoot down to let them sit on the aisle so they avoid having to step over you.
6. People with children five and under and anyone thinking they may need to leave during the event should take seats in the back 10% of the aisles closest to the exits. Heads naturally turn when there’s movement in a room of seated persons. You want to distract as few people as possible as you leave.
7. Those of us without children would be kind to sit closer to the front and not on the aisle to allow parents with children to sit in these child-friendly areas.
8. Watch your backside! When you enter a row or pew where people are already seated, make sure to turn your back to the stage as you walk past the people in your row. This keeps you making eye contact with them, instead of placing your backside right at their eye level! Say in a soft voice, “Excuse me” as you step over others, and, “I’m sorry!” if you accidentally step on someone’s toes.
9. If everyone in the row can remain seated, that’s fine. If it’s going to be a tight squeeze, then men usually stand to let others pass. Women remain seated and turn their knees in the direction the person is passing. This allows maximum room for others to make their way down the row.
Feel free to comment on something that happened when you were running late and add on to our list of gracious ways to enter!
I’ll see you Friday! You’ll learn seven savvy manners for eating soup: tipping bowls, blowing, adding crackers, where to rest your spoon, and a few others you just wouldn’t think of!
Welcome again to all my new readers! Please subscribe now at the top right of this page, and join me here Friday!
See you all then!
Blessings,
33 comments:
Thank you for posting this. I am actually an early bird, I can't stand being late for anything. I have several family members that are always late, religeously. I really hope that they read this post. Thanks again for sharing.
J.
Thank you for this post, Maralee!!! I am one of those late comers all too often. Sigh.
Jennifer
I appreciate the tips. We are working on being less late in our family. By we, I mean me. My hubby was never late until we got married. I realized recently I don't want to become that relative everyone invites an hour early just to make sure they arrive on time. We weren't near that yet, but I know these things tend to sneak up on you. I want to treat my family/friends with more respect so it is something I am willing to work on. :-)
Love your blog. I am so glad to see that manners are alive and well. When my children were small, people came up to me to tell me how polite they were--they almost always added that I must be from the south because manners were that important to me. I am from Louisiana and that is the way I was raised. The people who lived around me told me they weren't teaching their children to say please, thank you, yes maam or no sir. I also taught my girls to call grown ups by Mrs. Whatever or Mrs. Valerie--some people didn't like that but I did--I thought it showed respect for our elders. I am bookmarking your blog. Thanks. Sheila in NC
Hello Maralee, I'm coming to you from Southern Plate and have enjoyed reading several of your posts. I also signed up for your e-mails and look forward to more insight into "Modern Manners". Thanks for providing this wonderful tool.
Hope Cagle (teach92@charter.net)
Okay, I'm back! Enter me in the contest! I've enjoyed what I've read so far, and thank you very much for wanting to teach us about our manners. My mother was a stickler for manners, and I was too when my children (notice, I didn't say 'kids') were growing up!
Hi Maralee! I just found your blog via Southern Plate...love it! I just subscribed and look forward to reading more insights from you! I was glad to read the point about facing the person you are climbing over so that they don't have to look at your rear...keep em coming, we need to pass these tidbits on to the next generation, fast! Mary Beth
I just came over from Christys to visit and read, haha... Thank goodness for you.. I plan on telling my daughter and granddaughers to sign up too.. Even though I tried my best as a grandmother to teach them everything they needed to know about manners, things have changed greatly... so reading an update now and then won't hurt them a bit...
Love your blog!
Joann A Grandma in Oklahoma
Please enter me (again) in the AMEX gift card giveaway! My 30th Birthday is May 4th and an extra $150 smackaroos would be the icing on the cake!! Thanks Maralee!!
I hate to be late, I usually show up 10-15 minutes early wherever I go. My Aunt, does not know the concept of time, and is always late. I often wondered if she was always late for work, because she was always late for family functions.
Maralee - wonderful notes on several issues we all need to be reminded of from time to time. I'm one of the "always late" variety and I'm making a personal pledge to myself to do better in this regard. Great comments too on bringing food to friends on Southern Plate and remember to bring the beverage so nobody is scurrying around trying to put together iced tea or lemonade at the last minute.
I recieve updates by email from Christy Jordan and I read your post and totally agree with you. I find it so rewarding to do little things for others like helping the old man in the electric buggy at WalMart place his items on the checkout counter or because I'm fairly tall, I am able to reach up on the higher shelves to retreive items for those who are too short to reach them. I had just never thought of these things in the light that you have. I look forward to looking closer to your blog and receiving your updates by email.
Thanks for the tips! I hate to be late, so I try to be early, but these are great to remember when it happens!
Hi Maralee! I've found your blog from Southern Plate. Other than food (thank you Christy!), manners are most important. And, the older I get, the more I realize just how incredibly rude I have been in my youth. I want to help bring civility back into the world. Thank you!
I love Christy's blog and am happy to have found you. I am one of those moms who set the clock 10 minutes faster than the actual time in an effort to be on time. Thanks for sharing your tips. I look forward to learning more.
HELLO, AND THANK YOU FOR GUEST POSTING ON CHRISTY'S SOUTHERN PLATE. I TRULY ENJOYED READING YOUR POST AND IMMEDIATELY WENT TO YOUR BLOG. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO CALL THAT THOUGHT OF TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING GOOD TO SAY TO EVERYONE BUT JUST USING GOD'S LOVE TO GIVE TO OTHERS IN EVERY SMALL WAY POSSIBLE. MY PRAYERS ARE FOR GOD TO GUIDE ME TO SOMEONE EACH WEEK TO SHOW HIS LOVE TO THROUGH RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS. ONCE WHEN I WAS AT A SALES MEETING, THIS MAN SAID" THANK YOU FOR YOUR SMILE". I WAS FLOORED AND LATER ASKED HIM WHY HE SAID THAT. BECAUSE YOUR SMILE IS A GIFT TO EVERYONE YOU SHOW IT TO. I WAS JUST USING MY MANNERS. WHEN SOMEONE GIVES YOU SOMETHING YOU MUST SAY THANK YOU. HOW PROFOUND!
GOD BLESS YOU,
TRISH ROBERTS
TUPELO, MS
I have a hard time with habitually late people. It is a sign of disrespect in most cases. I too will give those people an earlier time to be somewhere so they will be on time.
Maralee: I found your site on the Southern Plate site and just love your warm and personal advice. Kudos to another Southern Belle!
I like this alot. I am usually early for things, but I do have those mornings!
Hello Maralee,
Just stopping by after reading your guest post on The Southern Plate. I love your blog and cannot wait to read more! I am a mom to 5 beautiful children, who for the most part, are very well behaved, but there are those times.... =)
We could all use a lesson or two in manners these days!
Oh, and, I am sorry to say, that our family of 7 are normally the "late" arrivals..but I do try so hard not to be that family.. =/
Hi Maralee,
I came over from Southern Plate, and let me tell you, I LOVE YOUR BLOG... and with that said, I too, am one of those "late comers". I do try my best to be courteous, and not to make any noise, but it seems that with all my planning, sometimes things just happen to make us late. I just wished some of the people would have the 'etiquette' to help a person out when they are attempting to "sneak" in...
Loving your blog
Cee Brusehaber
What a wonderful "blog" idea. Happy birthday! =) I came to visit you after reading your post on Southern Plate - Happy blog birthday! I'd love to be entered in the contest - but I don't know where I need to go to enter=) I subscribed too. Please keep up the wonderful blogging - it's Such an area of need!!
What a lovely site you have here! I arrived here via Southern Plate and am looking forward to subscribing to your blog.
Thanks so much!
Susan
Thanks for this post! I have a question: why are the women expected to stay seated and the men to stand?
I just stopped by for a visit, after reading your blog on Southern Plate. I love Christy's blog, and I know I'm going to love yours, too!
Just stopped by for a visit after reading your entry on Southern Plate. I love Christy's blog and I know I'm going to love yours, too.
I also found you through your guest posting on Southern Plate. I love your blog, and will be subscribing.
I am usually early. I have a few friends that are perpetually late...I have given some of them an earlier arrival time to try to make sure they are on time.
Hello, Maralee, I'm also coming to you from Southern Plate and signed up for your e-mails and look forward to more insights. I am too early which I know is just as bad in certain circumstances. I'm working on that too!
Hello Maralee,
I came over from Southern Plate and subscribed and I am looking forward to hearing more from you. I know I could learn a lot about the proper manners for certain things. Thanks again,
Carolyn Mason
We are not always late, but maybe this will help.Thank You.
I think the thing that I need to do is slow down and reschedule my schedule. I think I'm stretching myself a bit thin and that's why I run late Thank you for the info.
What an insightful blog! I found you via Southern Plate and am so glad. Manners seem to have gone by the wayside and I am so pleased that you have devoted your time to educate us. Thanks a bunch!
An interesting, informal look at manners. If you can find out how Christy responds to a question in a comment right below the comment/question, it will help those of us who don't read all of the posts. Regarding late arrivals and early departures -- I agree that it is very rude. If either is necessary, it seems reasonable to consider skipping the event and trying to do better next time.
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Hello and thank you for being part of the conversation! I'm glad and honored you're here and I read and relish each of your notes!