How to Know if You Should Send an After Easter Thank-You Note

Greetings!

Happy Monday! I hope that your Easter weekend was blessed and memory-making in every good way!

If you were on the receiving end of a meal or gift this past weekend, then writing your host a thank-you note just might be in order. How do you know for sure when you should send one, and if one is expected, when is it "due?" Here's what one reader wanted to know. Can you relate?


Dear Maralee,

Thank you so much for your blog! You spoke at my church's women's event several years ago. I haven't forgotten a word of it! My question: Do you always send a thank you card after a meal? If so, how long should I wait to send it?

Short answer: If someone has provided you a meal, a thank-you note is always a gracious gesture. You should pop it in standard (snail) mail the next day.

Why write, and why so soon? Great questions for our time-crunched and very practical society, especially if you said, "Thank you!" as the ham was being passed and again as you left your host's home.

Monday Morning Mentoring: You're always right to compliment and thank a host both during a meal and as you're saying "Goodbye." The book of Proverbs reminds us that, "Kind words are like honey. Sweet for the soul and healthy for the body." That's the first step in expressing your appreciation. The next step is to gift your host with a permanent reminder of your gratitude with a handwritten note. The multi-sensory experience of the recipient as he or she sees your card, holds it, opens it, and reads it makes your thank-you memorable. It's also personal because it contains a part of you. You touched the card. It's in your unique handwriting. You licked the envelope. Your DNA is on your note, serving as gracious evidence of your appreciation that can be kept, re-read, and passed around to others.

Why be in such a rush to send your thanks? True gratitude is spontaneous. If flows from the heart unstoppable as any overflowing river. Think of a child opening a treasured gift. The child starts jumping up and down; a smile conquers her face; her eyes light the corners of the room where she stands. Nothing is quite as endearing as spontaneous appreciation. Sending a thank-you note is our grown-up way of expressing that same sense and level of gratitude.

Are cards too much for little acts of kindness? Some might say, "Sure, the other person made us dinner or gave us candy or flowers--they didn't just donate one of their kidneys for our much needed transplant." The thing is, true appreciation doesn't set up a rating system for the gifts and kindnesses we receive. It's about putting the practical application of our virtue of gratitude into consistent practice by showing thankfulness for all of them. It's OK to gush a little, even over the little things. The recipient of your note won't find you plebeian; he or she will find you gracious, endearing, and attentive!

What if you "owe" someone a card for a gift or meal from weeks or months ago? A thank-you note sent late is better than one never sent, so go ahead and mail it, along with a quick apology for the lateness. In the future, we all need to remember (me included!) that the ones we send weeks after the event, even though we're sincere, can send a mixed message. The receipent can almost read between the lines, "I did this mostly out of social necessity. Thank goodness I can finally get it off my mind and checked off my to-do list."

Can I send my note via e-mail? Sure, as long as your meal was a virtual one and not a real one. :) Etiquette has evolved to meet our needs and sensibilities. There are lots of times when e-mailed thank-you notes are fine. When a meal is involved is not one of those times. (We'll talk about when e-mail thank-you notes are perfect ways to show your gratitude in upcoming posts!)

Final mentoring thought: Thank-you notes are short. They take us about five minutes to write, address, and drop in our mailbox--much less time than the other person spent on preparing food or buying us a gift. Send your note with a glad heart. You'll brighten the recipient's day by letting him or her know you noticed and appreciated his or her efforts on your behalf, and you'll have exercised and expanded your virtue of gratitude.

What thank-you notes have you received that touched your heart? Did any seem to be sent out of obligation? Are there any thank-you note stories you'd like to share or any questions about writing notes you'd like to be mentored in? If so, drop me a note. You can always reach me at Maralee@MannersMentorBlog.com.

Until Wednesday...

Blessings,